Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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