Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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