I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
