i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
bring money and cleavage
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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