Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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