Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
