I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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