I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
