Christians are straight up FREAKS
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
