I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
