your parents love me but you hate me
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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