somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
