If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
