I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Randomize