Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
