how can u be prego again
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Randomize
