He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize