good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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