Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize