We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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