At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize