Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
