it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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