dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
