what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
