just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
