Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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