will power is for people who don't want to get laid
love makes seman taste better
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
