So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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