I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
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