OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
