I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
