Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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