Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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