the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize