Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
