The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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