On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
