and next time when you feel me up, do it right
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize