Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize