Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
