i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
