My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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