I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
