Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
