I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We had sex on a dog bed..
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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