I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
