3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
