TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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