week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
