Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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