Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
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