I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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