Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
