What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
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