would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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