Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
